Are y'all ready for some FOOTBALL?!

The Difference Between Football in the North and South

WOMEN'S ACCESSORIES

Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.

Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder,mascara (waterproof), and concealer. Walletnot necessary, that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE

Up North: College football stadiums hold 20,000.

Down South: High School football stadiums hold 20,000.

FATHERS

Up North: Expect their daughter to understand Sylvia Plath.

Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

ATTIRE

Up North: Male and female alike: woolly sweater or sweatshirt and jeans.

Down South: Male - press khakis, oxford shirt, cap with frat logo Female – Dresses in school colors and matching pearls.

ALUMNI

Up North: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.

Down South: Take prospects on fishing trip so they don't leavefor the NFL their senior year.

CAMPUS DECOR

Up North: Statues of founding fathers.

Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN

Up North: Also a Physics Major

Down South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES

Up North: Mario Cuomo

Down South: Insert hero

GETTING TICKETS

Up North: 5 minutes before the game you walk into the ticketoffice on campus and still purchase tickets.

Down South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticketoffice on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.

PARKING

Up North: An hour before game time the University opens thecampus for game parking.

Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving onWednesday for the weekend festivities. The real faithful beginarriving on Tuesday.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM

Up North: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, youwalk right in with no line.

Down South: When your near it, you'll hear it. On game day, itbecomes the state's third largest city.

WHEN NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED

Up North: Stands are less than half full.

Down South: 100,000 fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

COMMENTARY (MALE)

Up North: "Nice Play."

Down South: $*#@% - tackle him and break his legs!!!

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)

Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."

Down South: $*#@% - tackle him and break his legs!!!

ANNOUNCERS

Up North: Paid.

Down South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fightsong, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

AFTER THE GAME

Up North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. Planning begins for next week's game.

SO TRUE! Football season is right around the corner, y'all!!!!