Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Are y'all ready for some FOOTBALL?!

The Difference Between Football in the North and South


WOMEN'S ACCESSORIES
Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.
Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder,mascara (waterproof), and concealer. Walletnot necessary, that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE
Up North: College football stadiums hold 20,000.
Down South: High School football stadiums hold 20,000.

FATHERS
Up North: Expect their daughter to understand Sylvia Plath.
Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

ATTIRE
Up North: Male and female alike: woolly sweater or sweatshirt and jeans.
Down South: Male - press khakis, oxford shirt, cap with frat logo Female – Dresses in school colors and matching pearls.

ALUMNI
Up North: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.
Down South: Take prospects on fishing trip so they don't leavefor the NFL their senior year.

CAMPUS DECOR
Up North: Statues of founding fathers.
Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN
Up North: Also a Physics Major
Down South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES
Up North: Mario Cuomo
Down South: Insert hero
GETTING TICKETS
Up North: 5 minutes before the game you walk into the ticketoffice on campus and still purchase tickets.
Down South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticketoffice on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.

PARKING
Up North: An hour before game time the University opens thecampus for game parking.
Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving onWednesday for the weekend festivities. The real faithful beginarriving on Tuesday.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM
Up North: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, youwalk right in with no line.
Down South: When your near it, you'll hear it. On game day, itbecomes the state's third largest city.

WHEN NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED
Up North: Stands are less than half full.
Down South: 100,000 fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

COMMENTARY (MALE)
Up North: "Nice Play."
Down South: $*#@% - tackle him and break his legs!!!

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)
Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."
Down South: $*#@% - tackle him and break his legs!!!

ANNOUNCERS
Up North: Paid.
Down South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fightsong, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

AFTER THE GAME
Up North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. Planning begins for next week's game.

SO TRUE! Football season is right around the corner, y'all!!!!





7 sweet comments...:

Amanda Faith said...

LOVE this! esp that "Wallet not necessary, that's what dates are for." VERY TRUE.

CaitEmily said...

this is adorable. your blog is so cute and inspiring :)

Lauren said...

So cute! and yet... so true! Hotty Toddy!

Christina said...

I LOVE football season! Only 2-1/2 more weeks!!!

SweetsQueen said...

Ha! I can't even TELL you how excited I am for everything that Fall brings. BUT, I can say I am a Big Ten girl (or was, until they screwed up the conference-*strop*) and we do most of those things too...aside from the LV purse of course. ;)

Blue said...

This is sooo funny!!! I#ve only been to one football game, ever, because it's really not popular in Europe, but now I need to get over to the states during football season to see for myself!

Missy said...

LOVING this post! May have to steal it!!

I am a Texas girl who has been transplanted to the North for my hubby's job. Boo!

This post could not be more true!

Nothing better than Southerners and their football!!